Jesse

i would just like everyone to know i have been banned from renting a white suit for sinclair prom. anyone as upset as myself about it can talk to andrea. seriously. do it. i want a white suit.

so i havent posted in almsot literally 1/5 of a year. which is a long time. so here are some things i have learned:

cars: make everything easier.
christine: makes alot of stuff easier too. not that im comparing the two. cuz one is clearly better. and its purple too :)
exams: are much easier when you understand the words your writing, and should not be written high. despite last years positive results.
oreos: are the source of the worlds happiness
jello: is waaaay too hard to come by.
old friendships: really should be renewed
present friendships: are really kinda a bitch at times. but ill keep them around cuz where else would i spend my weekends than at sophies and jims?
plus i like them.
tv: is the best waste of time ever
books: are similar to tv, if youve got alot of free time.
tupac: is the best cruising music ever.
alcohol and guitar hero: 'nuff said.

things are changing. and for once im doing the changing. nice.

so approximately 7 months ago, a boy by the name of jesse kelly was wrongfully (k maybe not wrongfully) accused of selling various drugs. but the fact of the day is: im free. finally.

after 7 months of sifting through random court bullshit and silliness, i've got a conditional discharge and 12 months non reporting probation. which basically means if i dont watch my ass for the next 12 months. i'm fucked. so i will. on another happy note. what a wonderful world we live in. where my sprite and my prescription come to 4.96 with tax. thank god for stephen harper. otherwise it would have come to like... what? 5.01. so thanks to him i have an entire un broken 5 dollar bill in my pocket. of course i probably spent like 4 more months in court than i would have. hmmmmm. costs vs. benefits? but no matter. cuz now i can blow off my addictions counseling.

today they told me my conditions include not beating the shit out of anyone. and not carrying any non-prescription drugs, in an obvious move on my part. i promptly went to the doctor to get some prescription drugs, purely for the purpose of being like: "screw you". plus im sick.

today i sat in court with a meth addict who burned down his house in port perry with his girlfriend still inside. he stood outside with an axe in case she made it out. and im sitting in the same court room as that guy because? i sell dope? where's the equality people? and the worse thing! he got his case read before i did. hes got no where to go. he was sitting chained in a glass box. crazy ass criminal justice system. headed up by a man in a dress.

kudos if you actually read all that. i wouldn't have.

so i think, selling drugs was the best thing ive ever done. cuz. my average. is 80 freakin 2. probably due in part to the fact that 2 of my classes are bull shittingly easy. but still! 80 freakin 2! i dont even think i had a class that good last year. also, ive determined im sick of having places to be. so fuck you places that i have to be. im not going to go you anymore. cuz i hate you. and now im looking into a journalismy photoy college in london, called fenshaw? or frenshaw? or some shit. but if i go there. ill be happy. cuz i REALLY need to get out of this damn house. its just another place i have to be. and yeah, courts on wednesday. running count: almost 7 months this court shit has been going on. fuck the police. im glad, that i only hate most people. and not all people. cuz what would i do without the few people i actually like? probably less i bet. yep. probably less. i. hate. places. to. be. and assholes.

so im looknig foreward to this weekend, friday is the official joannas birthday celebratory get together, and im getting drunk, and seeing my old work buddy affectionatley known (only to me really) as big poppa. cuz he loves it when you call him big poppa. and im bringing emily, so as to out fox everyone in the room. cuz she does that sometimes. and saturday i work 1-5. but im seeing mary? even though that hasnt been nailed down, but itll still happen. and sunday, i dont think i have plans? so im gunan try and see petra or jim or someone, but they havent been informed of this yet. so now they are. oh and btw, apparantly my 4 weeks of counselling have cured me of my (can anyone say imaginary?) addiction to marijuana. it has however resulted in another appointment, to be skipped if my next court date actually works of course. but even if it doesnt, i wont care. cuz i had a good weekend. presumably.

why is it that leaving for 2 days to shoot and skin things has made me more relaxed than ive been since may? why is it that my uncle is more like my dad than my dad is? cuz in two days we talked more than my dad and i have ever talked about anything ever literally. im too damn busy, because my next weekend is already full and its not even the week yet. and it has been for like 3 days. and i sear to god if i have to go back to court again ill kill myself. i cant go to juvie. im too pretty :( i had a dream i got kicked out of oneil. i'm starting to think i can see the future. i made breakfast today, it was relaxing. things where i hold knives make me relaxed? and im sorry to all the people im too damn busy to be there for lately. cuz its far too many people for my liking. and posts full of random sentences with no correlation work well, since i dont have time for a real one. im off to do homework now. but chances are ill never make it.

so tomorrow morning im leaving for like 3 days. going hunting with my uncle. and im debating leaving my cell phone at home. cuz i plan on not talknig to anyone for 3 days, which will be nice. no offence to the people i talk to. so yeah, im dead to the world until monday. just so you know.

things are finally going well. but i fucked up once. which doesnt make me chronic. so fuck you. cuz you dont have that right, and im through.

He sewed his eyes shut because he is afraid to see
He tries to tell me what I put inside of me
He's got the answers to ease my curiosity
He dreamed a God up and called it Christianity

Your God is dead and no one cares
If there is a hell I'll see you there

He flexed his muscles to keep his flock of sheep in line
He made a virus that would kill off all the swine
His perfect kingdom of killing, suffering and pain
Demands devotion atrocities done in his name

Your God is dead and no one cares
Drowning in His own hypocrisy
And if there is a hell I will see you there

Burning with your God in humility
Will you die for this?

by the way, i have to go to court again, and complete an addictions counselling program, because im SO CLEARLY addicted to drugs. karma owes me fucking big time.